"You don't ever leave home, you take it with you. Or else, you're homeless."

-James Baldwin

A good job, Starbucks.

“Who was afraid of Jesus in the Bible? 
Those who thought they had power.
Who are the ones who were the closest to Jesus?
Those who thought they had none.”

—	Pastor Tim Chaddick, from today’s sermon

Happy Thanksgiving!

"We need to be grateful for many things that did not happen." 

-Langehoven

"We are at best poor beggars telling other poor beggars where there is bread."

-Don Carson

"A good 

traveler 

has no 

fixed

 plans and 

is not 

intent on 

arriving." 

-Lao Tzu

Again I Might be Wrong

My favorite personal motto: "Again I might be wrong." 


An ex-personal motto I have gotten wrong: "Follow your dreams and it will all work out."


A characteristic that is not sufficient for sustainability, joy, or fulfillment but one of which I value above many others: Passion.


A presentation that exemplifies all my breakthrough realizations on these matters: Mike Rowe of the Discovery Channel series Dirty Jobs (see video below). 


I listened to a sermon by Tim Keller awhile ago on how God has designed humans to work, to create, as an imitation of Himself as Creator. Jobs and work have to do with creation, making, forming, separation no matter the occupation; a teacher brining students' potential out, a medical professional bringing order to a body that is falling apart, an artist making a painting, a hairstylist creating a beautiful look out of chaos... We are sub-creators (as J.R.R. Tolkein names it), and Keller goes as far to say that we need that as a part of satisfaction in life. 


This mesage had been on my mind continually since then, seeing as how the everlooming real world is approaching as well as the questions of "What will you do after you graduate?" I want to do something I am passionate about, and I'll admit, a job that is socially accepted as meaningful. If I were to become a landscaper or a sheep castrator many people would question why in the world I spent all that money on a USC education for such a simple or dirty job. But in God's eyes (and in the anthropologists' minds theoretically), any task can be a fulfillment of God's intention for work, and thus the societal worth given to a job is void because all jobs are essentially equally satisfying the intention. Of course some jobs require more education to fulfill sucessfully, some pay more, some put more lives at stake, obviously not all jobs are equal. However, who are we to say that the man who puts the buttons on a cell phone in an assembly line is working a less important job that the man who invented those buttons? It doesn't seem logical, but then again it is matter of questioning cultural upbrining. What if instead of praising and glorifying actors in Hollywood we had the same fervor for great plumbers? Afterall, a plumbers work is much more practical and personally affective than the man who says lines behind a camera for our entertainment. Look in different cultures and you will find who jobs they value say a lot about their society, and sometimes it doesn't seem to make sense from an outsider's perspective. But does it make sense that we worship people whose job is pretending to be someone else? 


Fast forward to today, when I listened to a different sermon by the pastor of a church I attend in Arizona, Justin of Praxis. He added to my "ah-ha" with words on the often dissappointing nature of passion. Following your passion often results in unfinished projects, hoping from one pursuit to another, because passion itself is does not always endure through the hardship required to acheive a passion. I can see this in my own life with the simple example of my crafty ventures: beginning one necklace with fervor, then getting bored and starting a painting inspired by the of-the-moment angst, then when the painting isn't really turning out how I wanted I jump to re-sewing a dress to fit the change of season, but when I can't get my mom's antiquated sewing machine to work smoothly, I drop the idea and forget about it. Story of my life. Then apply this to my dream of being an anthropologist that works to better the lives of the poor. I learned from the Philippines it is not an easy thing to work for people. Oh sure I'm passionate about solving world hunger and getting every person alive the basic needs of life. But I lost a lot of passion last summer when I worked with Food for the Hungry, because it really, really wasn't fun sometimes. I didn't come home running around excited about living without running water, only eating fried food, or squeezing into public transportation every day. My passion was put to the test when I realized the poor will actually always exist, and to some extent, there isn't that much I personally can do about that. But then came my study abroad in Chile and boy was I passionate about becoming a Chilena! I wanted to only have Chilean friends, eat, talk, sleep, live just like a Chilean, and I was passionate about assimilating perfectly. But then it turns out, assimilating isn't really all that fun all the time, living far away from home and familiarity brings out the worst in you, and Chileans speak really, really fast. So my passion again faded. 


You need a lot more than passion to live a satisfied life. I can honestly say I don't really have passion for serving the poor anymore. I am not passionate about leaving all things North American behind and adopting a Chilean citizenship. It's different with becoming Chilean because that honestly is just rather naive of me, but with serving the poor, I am not just going to accept that I don't love, love, love it and forget about it. I just have a different attitude towards it. 


To sum up all this divergent information, take a look at this TED talk video of Mke Rowe himself doing a much better job at describing what I am trying to say:





My new attitude towards my future occupation: I will work wherever God calls me and do it to its fullest, even when the passion fades or is absent, because that is actually just the most satisfying way to live. 

"Lo que es bueno siempre cuesta."
-El Temucano

"What is good always costs."

Listen to this

A chilling, profoundly beautiful rendition of the Chilean folk singer Violeta Parra's song, Puerto Montt Esta Temblando, about the earthquake in Chile in 1960. Sung by Pascuala Ilabaca, whom I had the overwhelming joy of seeing perform live on a patio by the ocean at sunset overlooking the colorful town of Valparaíso. I cried during this song.

The first/my favorite stanza:

Puerto Montt está temblando

Con un encono profundo. 
Es un acabo de mundo,

Lo que yo estoy presenciando.

A Dios le voy preguntando

Con voz que es como un bramido,

Por qué mandó este castigo?

Respondió con elocuencia,

"Se me acabó la paciencia

Y hay que limpiar este trigo."

My (very) rough translation:

Puerto Montt is shaking with a deep rancor.

It is an end to the world, what I am now witnessing.

I ask God with a voice like a trumpet,

"Why did you command this punishment?"

He responded with eloquence, 

"My patience ran dry, I needed to clean the mess."

Women with accordions rock my world.  

"Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself." 
-Leo Tolstoy

Eat, Pray, Love

I have a slightly embarrassing confession: I just finished my first New York Times Bestseller, Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I liked it. Actually, kind of a lot. Don’t judge me. My English professor had recommended it to me, so hey that gives it/me some credibility, right?

As suggested in the title, Gilbert tells her story of traveling to Italy (Eat), India (Pray), and Indonesia (Love) as a form of life and identity recovery after a messy divorce. Drama, silliness, and cheesy one-liners ensue, and in the end she comes out of the other end a new and more fulfilled person. Not exactly surprising. But oh so entertaining for a long plane ride.

What I found most interesting throughout the book was the author’s intense and deep desire for God. Early in her book, she describes an “ah-ha” moment, where she first cries out and hears from God crying on her bathroom floor before her divorce. From then on, she begins her search for God/god in the form of yoga, meditation, chanting, praying, journaling, adopting a guru, etc. While this soul searching is nothing new and very human, I have never really heard someone describe the desire to find/have/be in a relationship with God they way she did. Furthermore, as a Christian, I have never seen/read this kind of longing in a non-Christian before (while she claims God—monotheistic, capital G—her beliefs are very much a mix of religions and philosophies, and she clearly states she does not mean God just in the Judeo-Christian sense). It was beautiful and inspiring to me to feel her yearning, because so often, unless in desperate times, I forgot what this yearning is like.

“I just want God. I want God inside me. I want God to play inside my bloodstream the way the sun amuses itself on water.”

-Pg. 176

But then, I was also confused. When she talks about God, His love, her relationship to him, I am in such agreement with her. Perhaps it is my ignorance, but it is not common for me to find such a deep connection to words describing a God other than my own. The way she speaks of God is so very Christian, so Biblical to me, yet she not speaking of the same Biblical God I know.

“God is, ‘L’amour che move il sole e l’ature stele…’ The love that moves the sun and the stars.’”

-Pg. 46, cited from Dante’s Divine Comedy

“Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine.”

-Pg. 177

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS!”

–Pg. 158, what God told her

“Our whole business therefore in this life is to restore to health the eye of the heart whereby which God may be seen.”

-Pg. 123, quoted from St. Augustine (ok yes, he’s a Christian)

I believe that God uses anything and everything to teach you, bring you closer to Him, and this is just another example of God using something rather silly on the surface—a guilty pleasure memoir—to challenge my faith and ideas about Him. I learned a lot from this book! So even if I don’t agree theologically with Gilbert, I still take away strong inspiration for my own walk with God. It left me wanting to bring more prayer, mediation, and passion into my faith.

Which led me to my next book, the complete opposite of this book—The Celebration of Discipline (thanks Tarah!). Ha! 

And to finish with this thought:

“There are only 2 questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history: “How much do you love me?” And, “Who’s in charge?”

-P. 157, quoted from an old lady

On Travel...

I recently finished at book called The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton. Unlike many travel memoirs, this book is divided into sections (Departure, Motives, Landscape, Art, Return), and goes chapter by chapter inspired by varying artists (or "Guides" like Van Gough, Edward Hopper, Charles Baudelaire, Gustave Flaubert, Alexander von Humboldt and more), and place they traveled. An interesting compilation of essays by Botton, complete with pictures of the paintings, photographs, writings of the artists and pictures of the places they loved.

Some excerpts to share:



"Unexpectedly poetic travelling places--airport terminals, harbours, train stations and motels."
"It always seems to me that I'll be well where I am not, and this question of moving is one that I'm forever entertaining with my soul." -Charles Baudelaire

"Baudelaire honored reveries of travel as a mark of those noble, questioning soulds he described as 'poets,' who could not be satisfied witht he horizons of home even as they appreciated the limits of other lands, whose temperaments oscillated between hope and despaire, childlike idealism and cynicism. It was the fate of poets, like Christian pilgrims, to live in a falled world while refusing to surrender their vision of an alternative, less compromised realm."
"Carriage, take me with you! Ship, steal me away from here! Take me far, far away. Here the mud is made of our tears!" -Baudelaire

"What we find exotic abroad may be what we hunger for in vain at home."

"I'm obsessed with inventing stories for people I come across."
"I think I must have been transplanted by the winds to this land of mud; surely I was born elsewhere-- I've always had what seem to be memories or intutions of perfumed shores and blue seas." -Gustave Flaubert

"I am a soul brother to everything that lives, to the giraffe and to the crocodile as much as to man." -Flaubert

When asked where he came from, Socrates said not 'from Athens' but 'from the world.'"
"L'infinie immensité des espaces que j'ignore et qui m'ignorent." -Pascal
"The night is even more richly colored than the day.." -Vincent Van Gough

"The most effective means of pursuing this conscious understanding was by attempting to describe beautiful places through art, by writing about or drawing them, irrespective of whether one happened to have any talent for doing so."


Ah, the words are so tasty to gobble whole.

Shalom, Pt. 2

Here is the audio of the sermon I mentioned, "Doing Justice" by Dr. Tim Keller, if you are interested:

Shalom

Before I came to the Philippines, the FH staff recommended listening to a sermon by Dr. Tim Keller called, “Doing Justice.” I loved it the first time I listened to it but was also packing at the same time and was a tad distracted, so I listened again today and it was just as awesome. I want to share with you my reflections and some notes I took from it.

Keller asks and answers 4 questions:
1. What is justice?
2. What is doing justice?
3. Who is supposed to do justice?
4. How can we be people who are doing justice?

He begins by saying the word justice in the Old Testament is highly related to the Hebrew word, shalom. Now this shalom is translated into peace, but the Hebrew word is far more dense than the English word of peace.

Shalom= “the webbing together of God, humans and all creation, in equity, fulfillment and light”
• Beyond peace of mind or cease-fire; universal flourishing, wholeness, delight, natural needs satisfied under the arch of God
o The way things ought to be
o God’s design, the world is intricately woven together, a fabric (not a hodge-podge)
• Physical, psychological, emotional, etc. types of shalom.
o Ex: Socially, when those who have money, power, status and they invest in the community for everyone to share, that is social shalom; no one is going hungry, everyone has opportunities for good schooling, the neighborhood is safe, etc.

So, to answer Question #1: Justice is re-weaving shalom. Such a cool concept that I’d never thought of before. Also such a great word, shalom. Proverbs 29:7: “The righteous care about justice/shalom for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.”

Now, to follow similarly, Question #2’s answer: Doing justice is repairing the fabric where it’s breaking apart. Here it’s all about community, where the fabric is breaking apart in the community and world. Doing justice is not individualistic. Proverbs 3:27: “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.” Who deserves good? Everyone.

Keller brought up such a good point:
• The western idea of justice is removing individuals from their networks so that they have the rights to do whatever they want to do.
o Forget about family commitments, forget about the tribe, etc., you have the right to do what you want
o I worked for my money/what I have, so it’s my right… Let them (the poor/others in general) work for it too
• Biblical understanding is the opposite; we owe one another what we have, we need to spread it around
• Ex: Kids in the inner city who are stuck in difficult neighborhoods with poor schooling, and as a result have few skills and bleak futures. Why are they there?
• Liberals say: systemic racism; not enough money in the schools, structural evil
• Conservatives say: family values were inadequate; families aren’t investing in them
• Both agree it’s not the kid’s fault; they didn’t ask to be born into this situation
• You work hard with what you get, but everyone has the right to the opportunity of “success” (a paying job, food on the table, roof over the head, an education, etc.). Some are born into worse situations than others.
• Thus, failure to be involved in the poor is not just a lack of compassion, it’s a lack of justice!

In Filipino culture, children do grow up with a deep respect for their parents and a profound feeling of being indebted as well. Family is highly important, much more so than the individual. In this way, the Filipino idea of the older siblings sacrificing and working to take care of the younger ones (both financially and physically), is Biblically doing justice. I, on the other hand, do not have the same feeling of indebtedness, and did not have to drop out of school to get a job to support Corrie through her schooling, and this probably would not be condoned by my family or friends (although I would for my baby sis). When Mom and Dad grow old and need some help living day by day, our culture is more apt to put our elderly loved ones into nursing homes than invite them into our own homes (not that this is a negative thing). Nursing homes are absolutely unheard of here, because no question about it, you will take in your needy parents and grandparents, no matter how much of an inconvenience it is for you. That is also doing justice. In that way, as a result of western influence in my thought process, I am more prone to think that I have the right to do what I want to do in spite of what is best for my family or community. I literally thought as a teenager that going to college would be great because I could forget about my familial responsibilities (sorry fam, this was when I was very angst-y and clueless!). I’m sure Filipinos get tired of their family responsibilities, I’m sure not all practice this servant hood, but culturally, they are much closer to the Bible than Americans in this way.

Now, Question #3: who is supposed to do justice? Quite obviously, everyone. Keller talks a lot about Bible verses that tell of righteous people serving the poor (such as the 1st quoted one, Proverbs 29:7). What is righteous? Righteous= those are willing to disadvantage themselves for the advantage of the community. [Am I righteous?]

And Question #4: we can be people that do justice by being righteous with the help and power of God behind us.
• Guilt will not motivate you; it takes too much energy, too much ingenuity, too much creativity, too much work
• God identifies with the poor
• God says: The way you treat the poor and the way you treat me, are linked (Matthew 25)
• If you have a bad relationship with God, you have a bad relationship with the poor; if you aren’t treating the poor as you ought to it’s because you are not treating God the way you ought to whether we know it or not
• Only if you look at Jesus will you know how much God identifies with the poor (Jesus was a victim of injustice, he was poor. Jesus was a victim of human injustice)
• When we look at the poor, we are looking in a mirror; we are poor in spirit, saved by grace.
• The poor are socially and economically what we were (at least) morally and spiritually

I loved this message and am motivated by his ideas! What do you think?

Don't Waste Your Life

"I will tell you what a tragedy is. I will show you how to waste your life. Consider this story from the February 1998 Reader's Digest: A couple 'took early retirement from their jobs in the Northeast five years ago when he was 59 and she 51. Now they live in Punta Gorda, Florida, where they cruise on their 30-foot trawler, play softball and collect shells...' Picture them before Christ at the great day of judgement: 'Look, Lord. See my shells.' That is a tragedy."

I just finished the book Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, which all the FH interns are reading before our briefing in 2 weeks. What an awesome book! 

The first chapters are all about our life's purpose (suiting, considering I just finished a philosophy class entitled "The Meaning of Life," where I was quite challenged by a Christian's fundamental purpose on this earth).  Key quotes worthy of mad highlighting, underlining and exclamation-pointing in my notes:

"Because I was created by God and for His glory, I will magnify Him as I respond to His great love. My desire to is make knowing and enjoying God the passionate pursuit of my life."  

"We exist to spread a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the job of all people through Jesus Christ."

"Every pleasure in the world becomes a blood-brough evidence of Christ's love, and an occasion of boasting in the cross."

Piper is consisently refrencing Paul's words on "boasting in the cross" as our single goal for life as Christians. I never understood when Paul would say this. Boast in the cross? Meaning boast in the electric chair, the lynching rope, the lethal injection, as Piper says? This seems wierd. Also, this is to be our only goal for life? Boasting? Well, boasting = rejoicing. The crucifixion of Christ and the results of his death is the example of God's grace and love for us as sinners. God does not owe us anything but death and condemnation, yet thanks to the cross, we are saved from these things (if we chose to accept it). Thus, "Every breath we take, eery time our heart beats, every day the sun rises, every moment we see with our eyes or speak with our mouths or walk with our legs is, for how, a free and undeserved gift to sinners who deserve only judgement." And for this we must be ever-grateful. 

But what does this look like in everything in life? Well, I am asking God to show me this. The book gives some examples (why not go pick it up yourself and check it? hehe), but I am convicted to apply it to my personal life, beginning now, this summer. So I will keep you updated on what God teaches me :)

Ok. Now the last part of the book was equally as jaw-dropping for me as the first 3. Chapter 5 is all about risk for Christ, and chapter 9 is all about missions. Key quotes:

"Risk is woven into the fabric of our finite lives. We cannot avoid risk even if we want to... One of my aims is to explode the myth of safetey and to deliver you from the enchantment of security. Because it's a mirage. [Security] doesn't exist. Every direction you turn there are unknowns beyond your control."

"[We] have 2 choices: waste life of live with risk."

I am especially inspired by the story of Esther (see the book of Esther in the Old Testament) and her response to risk:

"If I perish, I perish."

She lived by the words of Paul long before they were recorded:

"To live is Christ and to die is gain." -Philippians 1:21

What can the world take away from us? What can separate us from the love of Christ? For if we die, we only satisfy the deep longings of our hearts: we are unified with God in a perfect state! So for those concerned with my safety in an unstable developing country, I would love nothing more than to die fulfilling my purpose in life to spread the gospel. Yes this is a bit dramatic, but even as I visited Tijuana, Mexico recently and received severe warning not to go due to the violence and swine flu, I was feeling this exact way: If I perish, I perish! We will all die anyway, and what a better way to leave this earth? "To live is Christ and to die is gain!"

"Christ's love for us does not spare us from these sufferings. Risk is real. The Christian life is a  painful life. Not joyless. But not painless either."

"Obedience is risk."

And on the subject of missions:

"You dare not chose between the motives to love people and glorify Christ. They are not separate motives. Acting on one includes acting on the other. Thus if you love people, you will lay down your life to make them eternally glad in God."

The condition of our world, which is encouraging and convicting, and contrary to our often ethnocentric beliefs! 

"Already today the largest Chrisitan communities on the planet are to be found in Africa and Latin America. If we want to visualize a 'typical' contemporary Christian, we should think of a woman living in a village in Nigeria or in a Brazilian favela (ghetto). As Kenyan scholar John Mbiti has observed, 'the centers of the church's universality [are] no longer in Geneva, Rome, Athens, Paris, London, New York, but in Kinshasa, Buenos Aires, Addis Ababa, and Manila. Whatever Europeans or North Americans may believe, Christianity is doing very well indeed in the global South-- not just surviving but expanding."  

"About 20% of the world's population are unevangelized; 47% are non-Christians living where they are likely to be evangelized; and 33% are professing Christians."

Finally, this section made me think of all of my support team:

"It is crucial that millions of Christians fulfill their life calling in secular jobs, just as it is crucial that during wartime the entire fabric of life and culture not unravel. But during wartime, even the millions of civilians love to get news from the frontlines. They love to hear the triumphs of the troops. They dream about the day the war will be no more. So it is with Christians. All of us should dream about this. We love to hear how the advance of King Jesus is fairing. We love to hear the gospel triumphs as Christ plants His church among people held for centuries by alien powers of darkness."

Thus as the metaphor goes, you are the civilian supporters and I the soldier off in war. Thank you for supporting me.

I will keep you updated on news from the frontlines.